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You would have to pay me serious money to ride any of these 10 bicycles to work next week.
1. Fixie Concept Bike
Fixed gear bicycles are appealing to a specialized audience, but this stripped down bike has very a little appeal to anyone except the die hard cycling aficionado. There is so much wrong with this bike, there is no way of knowing where to begin. The mere fact that it does not even have a chain should say it all. Its a geometrical design by J. Ruiter and is just plain odd. Pedalling this bicyclewould be with real difficult. It is impossible for anyone to comfortably ride this bicycle if they do not lean so far over the handlebars that their knees hit them in the chest. There is no way the manufacturer can claim that the squared off seat of this ugly beast is the least bit comfortable..
Rather than a bicycle, this one is very reminiscent of a unicycle with handlebars.
2. Giant Vulva Bicycle Taxi
Depending upon your personal perspective, this is one of the most intriguing or most offensive bikes on the street. It is a statement from Finnish artist Mimosa Pale who believes that the world is too focussed on phallic symbols and the male anatomy. No doubt, she is quite probably right in her assertion. But, how many of us would really go so far as to make a protest statement by going inside this gigantic simulated vagina sitting atop her bike taxi?
3. Specilized Concept Bike
This ugly contraption looks similar to the “IT” vehicle Mr Garrison created in South Park and is probably just as uncomfortable.
4. Plastic Bike
This bicycle was designed to help improve on some features, to solve several production issues, and to save on manufacturing costs through automation. It is also made entirely from recycled plastic polypropylene, possibly making it the most earth friendly bicycle on earth. In a perfect world the material used to make this bike would come from the plastic water and soft drink bottles, plastic bags and Styrofoam cups, plates and containers that are overflowing our landfills. This bill could help to reduce production costs and could have such a positive impact on the environmental that maybe we could completely forget about how unattractive it looks.
5. LEGO Bike
The inbred one is one helluva ugly bike. Also the baby poo colour is not likely to impress your mates down on the track.
6. Lime Green Ugly Bike
This bike is very efficient. The oversize fenders shield the rider from mud splashes. the suspension seat post means the rider won’t have to brace himself for potholes. The heavy duty suspension seat post makes it possible for the rider to glide over potholes without having to brace himself for a terrible jolt. Its rear view mirror is an excellent safety feature and the seat rack is perfect for carrying books or groceries. But it has handlebars that are so long that riders have a difficult time navigating through heavy traffic and … it’s the ugliest bicycle anyone could imagine.
7. WTF!
This bike won the NYC – Bike Fetish day award of ugliest bike. The owner must be so proud.
8. I love the home-made back rest
Get ready for the taunts from local school kids with this grotesque bicycle.
9. Family Bike
I’m all up for taking the whole family biking but i think this particular Japanese bike is just not going to work. Apart from being as ugly as sin, how the hell do you you see the road behind the massive baby carrier?
10. Shopping Trolley Bike
Take your bike into your local supermarket with this customised bike from the artist – Wouter Mijland.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
good collection!
Awesome list, Danny.
But what’s wrong with the bus?
If the ‘Lime Green Ugly Bike’ is ‘the ugliest bicycle anyone could imagine’ you must not get out too much.
“Mimosa Pale believes that the world is too focused on phallic symbols” — yeah, and her installation illustrates very well why the world doesn’t want to see female genitalia displayed like that: it’s fugly. I’m a heterosexual married guy with kids, and that thing on the bike still freaks me out.
Obviously, written by a non-cyclist…the lime green bike’s bars are standard risers. You only *think* they’re “long” (you probably meant wide, but…) because of the bar end mirror. And you only needed to mention the suspension seat post once, really. Finally, how can you say it’s “efficient” and then claim the “riders” will have a hard time negotiating through traffic?
There’s a good reason for having a two-wheeled monstrosity. Turds don’t steal ugly bikes. I’d take this one,though…the triple-triangle frame’s a dead give-away that this ain’t no Huffy.
Number 1 and 3 are CONCEPT bikes. They are not meant to be ridden in the real world. They are experiments in form and function that may lead to real uses down the road.
The mountain bike was an “ugly contraption” when it first came out and nobody thought it would be anything more than a novelty. Bikes will continue to evolve as long is there is a need for people to transport themselves and haul their goods.
A Portland biker
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